Mare Bear asked:
I understand that repetition is the key to success, but how do you even start to get her to lay down and go to sleep? My sister has tried reasoning, she’s a single mom… what else can she do?
I understand that repetition is the key to success, but how do you even start to get her to lay down and go to sleep? My sister has tried reasoning, she’s a single mom… what else can she do?
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dope her up. lol. no just joking, ummm try using some warm milk. letting her eat before she goes to bed. (nothing sweet) if none of that works, use a night time medicine that is safe for children.
Literally just put her to bed, leave, and ignore the crying. If she knows crying and throwing a fit wont get her anywhere it’ll stop eventually. This wont work immediately but after a few days you’ll see results. Just dont give in to the crying.
That’s exactly it. She can’t give in. It’s a power struggle and as long as she gives up she will never win. She needs to tuck them in and tell them it’s time for bed. When they throw tantrums she needs to ignore it. Once they figure out that they can’t get their way the tantrums will stop. It may take several nights but it will be well worth it. I too am a single mom of 2 and I know it gets frustrating but she just needs to hang in there. She is in charge!
This is what I call “Jim Parenting” I don’t have kids, don’t like kids, but do amazingly well with peoples kids when I have to watch them. Explain to them that the boogey monster (who is well, and alive in her closet) will only go after bad little girls who don’t get to sleep on time… if she doesnt get to sleep before the boogie monster wakes up (soon!), then she might be gobbled up. If shes a good girl, you will let the boogie monster know that she was a good girl tonight, and he won’t eat her. Hey, it might sound like cruel and unusual punishment….. but think back to Aseobs Fables- yes the ones that were made to scare the hell out of children so that they followed rules, and didnt get hurt? I know I wouldnt have ran away out into the forrest as a child if I thought that I would find a witches house made of candy and she would eat me….
cold medicine.
Love the child. Let her be angry but make rules for where she’s allowed to be angry. Turn all the lights off and lay down yourself. Good luck. Remember she’s a child.
Had a friend once with a unique way of dealing with that. He made a “compromise” with his child, that the boy could stay up as long as he wanted. The catch was, he had a little 3-foot or so circle throw rug. The boy had to be on the rug (which was in the living room) and standing up. As long as he could stay there standing up he could watch TV or whatever, but he had to be on the rug and standing. He very seldom lasted more than 5 or 10 minutes.
The average tantrum lasts for 15 min. It will take a while to accomplish this but you have to be constant. Put the child to bed and tell them they have to stay in bed and sleep. Then leave. For the first week sit out side the door and when the child comes out put them back. Its going to be hard. Count to three and breath deep.It will take up to an hour for them to fall asleep for the first week. Put them to bed at the same time every night if possible. Number one thing to remember you cant give in. Don’t lay with them it will only make it harder in the future. Good luck
#1 DO NOT GIVE MEDICATIONS to make her sleep. Even Benedryl and cold preparations have side effects that may not be pleasant. Also, inducing sleep with medication does not teach her to go to sleep.
She has to have a routine that says bedtime. I always did the same thing with my children before I put them to bed, sing a song, read a bedtime story and then go to bed. Do these things with your child IN THE BED. Then tell your child good night, put out the light close the door and ignore any behavior (such as yelling, screaming, throwing a fit) If the child comes out of the room, patiently and firmly put her back. It is extremely difficult, but she can not be allowed to rule the bed time hour. Until she realizes you have control and will not allow her “bad” behavior to rule she will continue to try what has worked before until that behavior is extinguished.
This works with all inappropriate behavior. You have to not reward the bad behavior and reward the good behavior. Children will not repeat behavior that does not get them what they want. Conversely, they will repeat behavior that gets them what they want (screaming in public until they get a toy).
My ex-husband could not take the kids shopping without buying them something and could not understand how I could. He got them anything they wanted if they would shut up. I on the other hand would tell them — screaming won’t get you anything. I ignored them. They never got anything when they were with me – until them learned to ask without screaming. I also would reward intermittantly. I did not get them something EVERYTIME we went out. Only when I could afford it, and sometimes I would compromise — I can’t afford that, how about this. They learned one major important thing — when mom says NO – mom means no. when dad says no – it means I have to scream to get what I want.
I have never had this problem. All my son looks for before going to bed is a bowl of cereal and a butt rub.
I do have friends who have had this problem, though.
One just puts her daughter in the bed and lets her cry herself to sleep. I think it’s cruel and would never do something like that. I always want my son to go to bed happy and knowing he is loved. Not layed down and feel punished.
I have another friend who doesnt let her child nap all day so it is easy to put her to sleep.
Medicating children to put them to bed is child abuse… And using scare tactics is abuse ask well. Rock the child to sleep or keep a routine.